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March 09, 2007
The Narcissist as Beast - Part I
After several attempts to compose something meaningful and original about the incredible events surrounding the Tara Grant murder, I found myself uncharacteristically at a loss for words. Grant’s atrocities were so outrageous, so ruthless, if we did not know the story to be true, we would think it was written for a bad B horror movie by an unimaginative 25-year old between bong hits. Or, was it written by a narcissist?
Plot summary: underachieving, boyishly charming, spoiled Beast meets overachieving Beauty. His obsessive desire to possess her is mistaken for love. Beauty is swept off her feet and marries Beast. Soon, they have two children and Beauty rises to the top of her career, leaving spoiled Beast feeling emasculated, envious, and neglected. Beauty agrees to hire young, willing, foreign au pairs to help Beast cope with the childcare responsibilities. Beast attempts to seduce each girl, chasing off or intimidating those who don’t acquiesce. At least one falls in love with him.
Beauty is admired by male coworkers and her boss, and Beast interprets all attention toward his wife as a threat. The more Beauty is exposed to genuine love, admiration, and support, the more his façade is exposed. Meanwhile, Beast carries on a sexually charged cyber relationship with a long-distance former lover, which ensures that he will never have to perform or produce in real life. After several years of frustration and resentment, the lines between reality and fantasy begin to blur, and Beast begins to imagine his emancipation.
So far, the plot is familiar and banal. The audience is yawning. The motive is weak. The protagonist is predictable and wholly unlikeable, and not nearly evil enough. Boring! Time for the murder scene.
How would this Beast murder Beauty? In the most personal and least messy way, of course: strangulation. He lives the greatest fantasy of his life: crushing the woman who reflected all his deficiencies; the woman who possessed all the qualities he loved, which, ironically, were also the qualities he lacked and therefore loathed. As he looks into her eyes, sees her terror, savors that he is denying her breath as she loses consciousness, Beast thinks (or perhaps even says) “I decide who you love. I decide when you die.”
The ultimate pseudo-control to a Beast overwhelmed by powerlessness and rage.
The audience shrugs. Surely you can do better than this.
To be continued.
Comments
Well, that about nails it!
He is a real piece of work, isn't he?
Posted by: vero | March 9, 2007 09:44 AM
His friends are now confirming this behavior. What a monster.
"The Steve who apparently put his hands around Tara and choked her, I don't really know that Steve. He wasn't like that," said the friend. "But the Stephen who supposedly had a story about a black sedan and then would go dispose of a body but then go and bring it back in his house, that does sound like the Steve I knew."
http://www.macombdaily.com/stories/030907/loc_tarafriend001.shtml
Posted by: Doe Eyes | March 9, 2007 09:56 AM
Reading this, I have to wonder how close I might have come with my last ex. Yikes.
Posted by: CountryGal | March 9, 2007 04:18 PM
This was an outstanding article Loretta. I have to say that I am blissfully "narcissist free" (thank goodness). I have seen it but I don't have to live with it.
Posted by: Barbara | March 9, 2007 07:30 PM
Loretta, again, you've nailed it.
You're chillingly right on about this whole thing resembling a tacky B Horror movie.
Posted by: Nadine | March 9, 2007 07:54 PM
I think all of us have experienced the situation and are very aware of the danger, the damage and the damage to our children. Some of us are slow to react. Praise god that I did it in time. Unfortunately, preoccupied younger mothers tend to dismiss the alerts or their gut feelings of something is not right here. Any of those doubts are undeniable. Our own protector is the instinct. We are born with that instinct. Please, pay attention to that instinct.
Posted by: moi | March 9, 2007 11:41 PM
Well-said, Loretta & Moisie. What a ghastly, overplayed scenario. Makes me shudder.
Posted by: TheVillageWench | March 10, 2007 02:45 PM
Nice to see you, Wench! Qus pasa?
Posted by: vero | March 11, 2007 02:34 AM
Rest in PEACE Tara Lynn Grant.
Loathing the defense lawyer who is trying to delay release of her "body". What a sic (sic) sob. Exhausting.
Posted by: moi | March 11, 2007 03:19 AM
Answer this misfits:
mome the wraths outgrabe:
Posted by: moi | March 11, 2007 07:56 AM
Many of us, having been in a relationship that was bad for us, see ourselves in Tara, in Michelle, in Laci and Lori and Kathleen, and in all the wives, girlfriends who are offed by the ones who have promised to love honour and cherish.
We didn't see the signs before we entered the relationship. We got out before we got killed. Some of us had husbands who tried and failed to kill us. Some of them merely thought about it.
Somehow, we think that, given enough publicity, maybe girls will learn to follow their instincts and stay out of or get out of such relationships before they reach this point.
That's why I love it when Dr N Buster shows up on the scene.
When she takes her vorpal sword in hand, we all learn a thing or two.
Posted by: vero | March 11, 2007 09:36 AM
from Sound Off clickondetroit:
I am one of probably hundreds of people that knew Steve Grant. Not knew of him, I knew him thru business. He delivered parts from his "dads business" to a company I worked for ~for many years. Steve did not come from a prominant family as the Free Press suggests. His dad is a drunk and could barley keep the business afloat. Steve was always VERY weird. He was a liar~ so much so that we had a bet every day as to what lies he was going to tell when he was late with our parts this week. The lies were always HUGE and outlandish; so much so they had to be lies. Also, Steve ALWAYS stuttered. When this story first broke, I KNEW he was lying because on the majority of the News Footage with him, the stuttering disapeared! Steve always complained about being Mr. Mom, never complimenting himself like he did on TV. It seemed like every other month there was a new Au Pair...I always thought that odd! I never asked questions though because I hated having to talk to him. He was simply creepy! Our hearts and Prayers go out to Tara and her children. I cannot imagine having to be the one to explain this to a young teenager - That Daddy mutilated your Mom! Hope we have as much outpouring at today's memorial~ 4:00 Stoney Creek ~ as have shown interest in these message boards! Peace!
Posted by: moi | March 11, 2007 09:53 AM
Interesting about the stutter. And about it disappearing when he lied. I wonder if there are any studies on that.
Stuttering is a weird phenomenon, too. I stuttered when I was a child, and was told it was because my mind was going faster than my mouth could keep up. I think a lot of kids do stutter, and outgrow it as they grow up.
Also interesting that nobody else who knew SG has mentioned it.
Posted by: vero | March 11, 2007 10:33 AM
Some things I found about the au pair on the German side of Google.
High school graduation pic
Posted by: Captain Joe | March 11, 2007 11:34 AM
Thanks, Captain!
Posted by: Doe Eyes | March 11, 2007 01:33 PM
A quotation from taralynngrant website guestbook:
Name: Jeff K.
Location Shelby Twp. Mi.
Comments:
A poem for the Detrampe & Standerfer families.--
I AM FREE-- Don't grieve for me,
for now I'm free.
I'm following the path God laid for me,
I took his hand when I heard him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
to laugh, to love, to work or play. Tasks left undone must stay that way.
If my parting has left a void, then fill it with remembered joy.
A laugh, a kiss a hug, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow, I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much, Good friends, good times,a loved one's touch!!!
Perhaps my time seemed ALL TOO BRIEF,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share the joy with me, God wanted me now, HE SET ME FREE!!!
Is this sick or what? Perhaps a comfort to some, but not in reality, as I see it. Prayers are good, but this kind of surrendering poetry defies the grace of the woman who stood against all odds. Don't even go there with moi. If Tara had my daughter/sister/mother or friend, I would know better than that surrender bit. Not at all. She never surrendered. Furious love to all. xxoomoi
Posted by: moi | March 12, 2007 02:34 AM
I agree, Moi. Do not go gently into that good night ... rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Poems like those comfort the living. They have nothing really to do with death, imo.
Posted by: loretta | March 12, 2007 08:08 AM
Judge denies gag order in the Grant case.
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070312/UPDATE/703120403
Posted by: Doe Eyes | March 12, 2007 12:49 PM
To post a poem that insinuates that Tara's destiny was to be slaughtered is pretty insensitive.
That was beyond cruel.
Shame on you, Jeff K.
Posted by: Nadine | March 12, 2007 02:55 PM
Quake near you, Lo?
Posted by: Captain Joe | March 12, 2007 08:01 PM
It was sort of nearby, but we didn't feel a thing, Joe.
Posted by: loretta | March 12, 2007 08:44 PM
Quake? In Ohio?
That poem is totally insane! I thought we had moved on from the idea that this life is merely preparation for the next. Apparently, some feople have not.
I hope that Tara's family can take that in the spirit of comfort in which it was not doubt intended.
Posted by: vero | March 13, 2007 09:40 AM
http://www.clickondetroit.com/video/11244710/index.html
Video about the search warrants. The SWs themselves will be avilable at the news website in the morning.
Posted by: vero | March 14, 2007 12:41 AM
Good morning, everyone. A small update on the Search Warrants for Tara's home.
www.clickondetroit.com/tu/5nkF6AydJ.html
Posted by: Monica | March 14, 2007 08:21 AM
Well, I guess I should read the comments before posting.
Vero, you beat me to the punch!
Good morning, everyone.
Posted by: Monica | March 14, 2007 08:22 AM
On behalf of The Pat Brown Criminal Profiling Agency, we wish to thank everyone here for your interest and the many incoming page referrals to our brand new blog, The Daily Profiler. We enjoyed reading some of the great, inciteful commentary on this blog, and would like to add you to our BlogRoll.
As always, please feel free to visit us anytime, and join in the discussion of the Criminal Profiling Topic of the Day at The Daily Profiler!
Best wishes,
Donna Weaver
Investigator
The Pat Brown Criminal Profiling Agency
The Sexual Homicide Exchange
Posted by: Donna Weaver | March 14, 2007 11:47 PM
I have always had a lot of respect for Pat Brown. Off to check out the new blog.
Posted by: vero | March 15, 2007 09:12 AM
A couple of new links from Macomb County, in relation to Tara Grant. This one has some new tidbits, including that the dismemberment was two days after the killing:
http://www.macombdaily.com/stories/031507/loc_tara001.shtml
This one attempts to put Tara's murder into a sociological perspective, re other spousal murders and the upcoming CTV series about same.
If nothing else, the CTV series might open a few eyes to this danger.
Posted by: vero | March 15, 2007 01:13 PM
Well, phooey. I forgot the second link. Sorry...here it is:
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070315/METRO/703150381&theme=Metro-TaraLynnGrant
Posted by: vero | March 15, 2007 01:21 PM
Re: the Ultimate Patsy Confession:
http://www.defenselink.mil/news/transcript_ISN10024.pdf
I don't think this was supposed to be funny, but I laughed. Out loud. Frequently.
I think KSM is responsible for the tornado we had last night, for my missing lighter, and the levees bursting in New Orleans.
If we tickle him long enough, I'm sure he'd confess to pawning my jewelry, too.
UnbeLIVable.
Posted by: loretta | March 15, 2007 07:02 PM
I need a laugh. So, just tell me which of the 26 pages has the alleged confession?!xxoothelazyslot
Posted by: moi | March 15, 2007 09:28 PM
To which crime?
Go for his statement close to the end. It's several pages of him saying "I take responsibility for..." everything up to the assassination of Marilyn Monroe.
Posted by: vero | March 15, 2007 10:07 PM
Shoot, I just won't bother. I have larger things of a family sort going on. Anorexia, & pi 3.1459 Don't you know that all of us have better and more uplifting things to do. Listen to good musicand ax Loretta for that Ballet. I am sure that each of you will have a different interpretation. Krix, I scent her the original and she does knot even ackmp-flipper-knowledge it except to say it is in french. Wail chipps and poops and I hope and so hope that MGT is awake and well in the morning time. I am still in a state of angst with my daughters who cannot deal with the other daughter she is anorexique. Good night all. Another day or two.
Posted by: moi | March 16, 2007 01:49 AM
Well, happy and hoo hah St. Patricks day to all, and shamrocks and all those other things as to sheleighlies heh, you noe what those are. poop again and hope you all have some green things gorn awn.
My only wish is that my dear dad, Harry Mayo Provence will still RIP in this wash of sheleighley things, as he only and always danced the Irish Jig and sang the many Irish songs. Comfort and peace to all here.
Posted by: moi | March 16, 2007 02:09 AM
Manana por la manana. St.P.D.
Posted by: moi | March 16, 2007 02:11 AM
Alas, I cannot open it on my computer. I can only hear the audio. That’s why I haven’t commented on it. I have not had a chance to watch it.
I'll watch it at someoneone's house and he will also make copies of the DVD since I cannot burn them on my machine.
Posted by: Anonymous | March 16, 2007 07:53 AM
http://www.dailypress.net/stories/articles.asp?articleID=8965
Tara's Obituary.
Posted by: Anonymous | March 18, 2007 02:57 PM
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17662287/site/newsweek/page/2/
Good article promoting long-term care insurance. Highly recommended for anyone with any real assets to protect. Don't wait too long. The younger you apply, the cheaper and easier it is to get.
If you wait until you are sick, have a debilitating injury, or are too old, you can't get it.
Posted by: loretta | March 18, 2007 03:18 PM
http://www.lewrockwell.com/roberts/roberts201.html
Re: KSM's confession. Needless to say, I'm in the "Laughing Really Hard" camp of viewers.
But, at least there is one good thing that came of this: all those socks that were lost in the dryer over the years? KSM has them.
Posted by: loretta | March 18, 2007 05:28 PM
You might want to watch this before it goes POOF again.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2073592843640256739
Interesting short film on WTC7. It's so obviously a controlled demolition. Why not just admit it?
Posted by: loretta | March 18, 2007 05:48 PM
Finally, Part II ^^^
Here's a shortcut:
www.misfitting.com
Posted by: loretta | March 18, 2007 07:55 PM