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November 05, 2007
When The Author Finally Quits
Today is my one week smokaversary (just made that up). Yes, I quit smoking. It is a bigger shock to me than to you, I assure you.
I have been happily, shamelessly, blithely puffing away on cigarettes off and on since I was about twelve years old; and I’ve been smoking pretty steadily since I was about 25. Since I have a birthday coming up in the late 40s range, you can probably do the math.
Every year around this time, the idea of quitting crosses my mind for many reasons: I’m not getting any younger and I know the cumulative effect of smoking will eventually catch up to me; cigarettes are getting more ridiculously expensive and I resent supporting the government and fat tobacco barons; and, let’s face it, being a smoker is being a social pariah; never mind that your chances of meeting a nice guy are reduced exponentially.
There were other factors that weighed heavily in my decision to actually quit, including the illnesses and deaths of a couple of close family, and a cancer scare I had earlier in the fall that brought my mortality quite close to home (although planning my funeral was kind of fun).
On Monday October 29, with most of a new carton of cigarettes still in my freezer that I bought with my $5 birthday coupon from Lorillard Tobacco Company (Happy Birthday! We are pleased to give you $5 toward your next carton of cigarettes and cheerfully cut 15 years off your life!), I made the decision to quit for good.
After some research on various methods, I chose laser treatment, which gave me a big endorphin buzz for a few days to get over the bite of the withdrawal. I had my booster buzz today and can go back for a third any time before six months.
I threw out an open pack of Newports and gave away the remaining eight packs to the guy who runs the convenience store nearby. You know you are SERIOUS when you have 8 packs of cigarettes in your freezer and you up and quit. I traded them for a case of spring water. Yes, he got the better end of that deal, but I don’t care. He’s a good guy and I like his store.
I had no idea what would entail the withdrawal symptoms; I expected crabbiness, short-temperedness, ravenous hunger, impatience, depression, mild psychosis.... but I sure didn’t expect chronic sleeplessness!
Every night for the past seven nights it’s as if some cosmic alarm clock is playing a joke on me, waking me up every single hour for the next five hours. Sometimes I wake up in a sweat, sometimes I dream about sleeping. Maybe it was all the celery I’ve been eating. But, no matter what I do, I can't sleep more than two hours at a time.
Getting through the morning (when I never smoked) and the afternoon (when I rarely smoked), or driving in the car (where I almost never smoked) or calling on clients (where I never smoked) or running any errands should be no problem. It’s the 6 PM – 12 AM slot that will be challenging. I chain smoked half cigarettes between 8 PM and midnight, and I rarely, if ever, wrote anything without something burning in the ashtray.
If I had to do it over, I quit on a long a weekend when I could be up all night and not worry about functioning too much the next day. Had I known, I might have planned it differently. But, just as well. I had to quit and damn the torpedoes.
I trust my body knows what it’s doing with this insomnia, nausea, migrating aches, and semi-catatonia.
Of course, I called my mom to whine, since that’s what moms are for. She did not experience insomnia when she quit smoking. I remember she became a frothing maniac, fired everyone in the office, got really froggy and we were all ready to tie her down and give her a shotgun of tobacco smoke to calm her down.
On Halloween, I had no cigarettes in the house to tempt me. For the first time in memory, maybe ever, I walked around the neighborhood without smoking. I brushed my teeth like 47 times (I’m going to have the sparkliest teeth on the planet) and took a nap before the trick-or-treating.
Surprisingly, despite the lack of good sleep, I have not hallucinated, fallen down a flight of stairs, confessed to terr-ist activities, or accepted a marriage proposal. Deep in my cellular makeup, deep in my bones is this powerful nicotine addiction. I have no psychological needs whatsoever. I have no interest in smoking. But my body is NOT happy. It’s like being tortured by the KGB.
Things really did not get better, as was promised.
TO BE CONTINUED
Comments
You are a brave soldier deario. You are an example for the rest of the pariahs. good luck!
Posted by: moi | November 5, 2007 10:37 PM
Keep your spirits up and you'll prevail! :)
Posted by: Pete | November 5, 2007 11:01 PM
Brave girl!
I know it is not easy (I quit smoking in 1999. July, 9. 8 years ago and sometimes I still think it's hard). But it will get better. I promise.
Good to see you writing out here, too. Oh, how I've missed it!
Posted by: Anne | November 5, 2007 11:11 PM
Well done, Loretta! You certainly haven't had an easy time of it.
Posted by: Mgt | November 6, 2007 11:58 AM
Keep it up, Loretta. It may take awhile for your body to adjust, but it's totally worth it.
It's been 13 years since I quit, and I remember how hard it was.
Posted by: Nadine | November 6, 2007 01:03 PM
Now, if you could just convince Kucinich to swear off what he has been smoking...
Posted by: Captain Joe | November 6, 2007 07:26 PM
Loretta, I cannot tell you how proud I am of this accomplishment! Good for you!
It's not just the smoking...it's managing to stick with it. I know how much you like that instant gratification! LOL!
So, you are not only quitting the nasty habit (I can say that--I quit already), you are learning patience.
It's a win/win situation.
Posted by: vero | November 6, 2007 11:45 PM
New half hour show on Court TV tonight, called MyCase.Com. The first episode features Steve Huff discussing the Taylor Behl (sp) case. That's at 10:30 PM EST.
Posted by: vero | November 7, 2007 09:58 PM
with you in esprit, buen viaje and muchas fantanstica revelations in the large pomme of my hart.xxoomoire
Posted by: moi | November 8, 2007 11:45 PM
Keep up the good work. That's wonderful news. God bless.
Posted by: Anony | November 9, 2007 04:48 PM
Hello y'all. Been a long time but I'm back. I lurk every now and then but I thought I'd just drop in and say Hi. Congrats Loretta. I am proud to say I have never even taken a puff of a cigarette and never did understand the attraction. I mean it's not like chocolate or anything!
Good luck!
Posted by: Jim | November 12, 2007 09:17 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Loretta!
Have a wonderful day. I am so happy that your life is so full of all the things you could wish for. Hip hip, hooray!
Posted by: Mgt | November 13, 2007 07:18 AM
I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday, Loretta.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Also, I'm glad to hear that you've chosen to stop smoking. I wish you the best!
Posted by: Carri | November 13, 2007 02:03 PM
Thank you thank you! All the birthday greetings are so wonderful - email, phone, blob, kitchen.
Wonderful! It's a gorgeous day out here today and I just got home from a short work day. Not bad. I made no money today, but what the heck.
I am off to get my tags for my car if it's not too crowded. If it is, I'll get them later.
Thanks to all for the nice wishes.
Posted by: loretta | November 13, 2007 02:06 PM
Hi Loretta:
I wish you a very very Happy Birthday and a year full of continuing good things coming your way, as it has been.
from your long distance friend,
Anne
Posted by: Anne | November 13, 2007 03:33 PM
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21772733/
Yay! C. C. Sabathia wins Cy Young award.
Great news!
Thanks, Anne, great to see you !
Posted by: loretta | November 13, 2007 05:24 PM
Happy Birthday! I had to write the date today and I thought of you.
I would have said something sooner but this is the first I've had my computer on today.
Posted by: Barbara | November 13, 2007 08:46 PM
That's pretty unusual. Good to see you and thanks!
Posted by: loretta | November 13, 2007 08:48 PM
Hey, how wonderful is this.....?
Novelist Michael Peterson's murder conviction upheld by North Carolina high court
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP)
The state Supreme Court on Friday upheld the murder conviction of novelist Michael Peterson, who is serving life in prison for killing his wife.
Posted by: Mgt | November 14, 2007 11:38 AM
Of course, you probably all knew before I did.
Posted by: Mgt | November 14, 2007 11:39 AM
I forgot to say, Congratulations on the healthy choice!
Posted by: Barbara | November 14, 2007 08:44 PM
Good morning!
Sunny but bitterly cold in Glasgow, today.
Christmas is just over 5 weeks away. Not the best time for me. Expensive and once it is over there is already talk about the next year. Ugh!
Nice to see that Jim popped in. Hiya, Jim!
Posted by: Mgt | November 15, 2007 05:27 AM
Mgt, when the Christmas season's no longer fun, something's wrong.
I'm really downsizing this year on the gift purchasing/giving. I just don't have much to spend, and that's that.
Posted by: Nadine | November 15, 2007 06:07 PM
My point is, it's so commercialized now. No wonder so many people are so unhappy during the Holidays.
Too much pressure and unrealistic expectations.
Posted by: Nadine | November 15, 2007 06:18 PM
Wow! there was Barbara. Greetings and salutations to all of you who I always seem to miss.
Hang tough Loretta!
Posted by: Anonymous | November 15, 2007 10:04 PM
Nadine, even as a child all I cared about was the presents. Now, I don't even care about them.
Whatever Christmas was supposed to be, it isn't anymore. JMHO, of course.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
Posted by: Mgt | November 16, 2007 11:18 AM
Happy to see the new entry here, and congratulations on the 'smokaversary'!
I haven't begun Christmas preps, as I fully intend to enjoy Thanksgiving, the great-overlooked holiday in this country! LHAT I tried to find some TurkeyDay decorations for Bunco at my place on Tuesday. They are scarce.
Posted by: Kris | November 17, 2007 12:20 AM
Kris, I thought it was shameful how it was barely Halloween and the Christmas stuff was already waiting in the wings.
What's up with those horrible artificial pink Christmas trees this year?
Posted by: Nadine | November 17, 2007 01:52 AM
One of the younger generation's words that may make it into my vocabulary for a while is "craptacular." I think that applies to my Christmas Spirit this year.
Posted by: vero | November 19, 2007 01:32 AM
I say do whatever you feel like doing for the Holidays. If that happens to be nothing, then so be it.
Posted by: Nadine | November 19, 2007 02:20 PM
http://www.rushprnews.com/press/archives/1231349
This sure looks interesting.
(Can't wait to see it!) Heh!
Posted by: loretta | November 19, 2007 04:17 PM
Has anyone ever heard of Domina Leola McConnell and a book called Lustful Utterance?
Posted by: Anonymous | November 20, 2007 05:56 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to you all.
May I suggest you go over and have a look at the picture on Ronni's Rants. I laughed out loud.
Posted by: Mgt | November 21, 2007 09:46 AM
Joran van der Sloot and the Kalpoe Brothers nave been re-arrested!
Just heard on NBC.
Posted by: vero | November 21, 2007 06:07 PM
Congratulations on quitting smoking Loretta. I wish you continued success in that as well as all things romantic, business and familial. Also a belated Happy Birthday!
Just got my 24 lb. bird in the oven and thought I'd check in and wish all the Misfits the very happiest of Thanksgivings.
Posted by: karenancy | November 22, 2007 08:23 AM
Good morning and happy turkey to you, Karen. I think of you often.
Don't you have a birthday coming up too? My addled mind seems to recall it. I know Ruth's birthday is the 29th and Kuff's was the 6th, but I seem to recall yours coming up as well.
Hope the girls are doing great. And that you are. Come to the kitchen if you get time. Lots of fun stories in there.
Posted by: loretta | November 22, 2007 09:02 AM
Well, who would have thought, hey Vero? They must have been working behind the scenes.
Enjoy your day, everyone!
Posted by: Mgt | November 22, 2007 11:44 AM
Well, I'll go to the bottom of our stairs!!!
Hello, Karenancy! How the flippin heck are you?
Posted by: Mgt | November 22, 2007 11:51 AM
Just for Karenancy:
Thought for the Day:
May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n' gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious. May your pies take the prize.
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.
Posted by: vero | November 22, 2007 11:08 PM
Congratulations Loretta!! I am so happy to read about your decision to quit. I am rooting for you!
Posted by: Another Friend | November 25, 2007 01:15 AM
Shame, poor Joran has been denied books and a bible. Poor little sadistic bastard!
Posted by: Mgt | November 29, 2007 12:03 PM