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June 04, 2008
The Perfect Veep Candidate
Now that Barack Obama has clinched the Democratic nomination, the time has come for him to choose a running mate. Although, Ol’ Piano Legs just won’t say die, contrary to ubiquitous media reports, she will not be on the short or long list for Obama’s Vice President for several reasons:
1. Michelle Obama probably put the kibosh on that idea long ago with something along the lines of “I’m not lettin’ that woman run my house and I sure don’t want Bubba lurking around!" (Or something worse.)
2. Hill and her ilk have done a lot of damage for the party in the last few months, and nobody has that short a memory.
3. The Dems don’t need her to unify the party. They could win with Alfred E. Newman on the ticket. Which leads me to my new brilliant idea: I think I should be the running mate.
Yes, me.
I would make a great, old-fashioned Vice President, kind of like Dan Quayle, but a better speller. I’m too lazy to want to run the country from Darth Cheney’s (soon to be former) bunker, I’d enjoy travelling, I pack light, I like meeting new people, I have lots of black to wear to funerals, I won’t upstage Mrs. Obama The First Lady, Nathan and Lauren could play with her daughters (they are close in age), perhaps Nathan may even marry one of them someday (which would make a great story), and my position on the ticket would bridge a few gaps. For example:
- The whole “elite” myth would be dispelled, since I am average middle class (and unashamed to reveal my tax returns for the past 20 years). I feed my kids Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and I live on Fritos. I’m a mediocre tennis player. I don’t have an Ivy League education. I don’t have a law degree. My baseball team never won a World Series. Nobody could accuse me of being “elite.”
- I come from a Republican city but I worked for the Democratic Party and then became an Independent. All bases covered!
- I'm a 3rd and 4th Generation American and my ancestors represent the backbone of our country: entrepreneurs, builders, people who make the factories run, steel processors, etc. We are ‘merkin through and through.
- I have a really ethnic name that sounds Hispanic. Most of the people voting won’t know I’m NOT Hispanic. I think the bumper stickers can say, “Obama/Serrano Olé!"
- I could attract the single moms, drunks, recovered drunks, addicts and badly married with my interesting history. After these past Republican primaries, nobody with a couple of marriages need worry about running for office.
- As a lapsed Catholic, one-time Lutheran, occasional church-attendee, and familiar with Bible verses, I might close the gap on that fringe religious group. I could go to lots of different churches as Veep and explore all the religions of the country and keep a blog.
- Speaking of Veep blogs, having been an avid blogger once, I could blog the Vice Presidency! A Virtual Veep!
- Since my personal history is already documented on the “Internets,” there will be no skeletons in the closet for Karl Rove to haunt me with. Besides, you know what I’d say to Karl Rove.
- They want CHANGE in Washington, new blood, heck, I’ve never even visited the place!
You must agree that my arguments are sound. I think I’ll propose them to David Axelrod.
Comments
I'd vote for you!
Posted by: Shawn | June 4, 2008 11:00 PM
Candidate Loretta, think of the musical events you can oversee!
Posted by: Astrologer | June 4, 2008 11:36 PM
Great idea! Oh man, I'd love to see you deal with those Bee Esing Bas-tards. Especially the corrupt ones. Heh
Posted by: Mgt | June 5, 2008 03:56 AM
http://www.kansascity.com/440/story/652717.html
One of several sources of the news that Peterson is going back on trial for the civil charges.
Prolly looking forward to it to get out of stir for a couple of weeks.
Posted by: loretta | June 7, 2008 10:15 AM
Great to see Loretta back bloging now and then. The ladies in black wearing pearls and a couple of swell guys still chat about "celestral" when we play bridge
Posted by: luanne | June 7, 2008 02:04 PM
I read somewhere that he was deposed, refused to answer questions "on advice of (his) lawyer," and will not appear at the trial.
Go, Sharon! I hope she haunt, taunts and hounds that rat bastard all the way to his grave!
Posted by: vero | June 9, 2008 01:01 PM
Do you sing? I'm looking for a singer for my niece's wedding. She likes flute music too. Do you play at Catholic Weddings?
Posted by: loli aka ilol | June 9, 2008 07:01 PM
Message from Ramsey Clark
Impeachment is not a political question. Impeachment is a constitutional duty. It is the one power and highest duty the Constitution rests in the Congress to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States when the President, Vice President, and other civil officers of the United States commit treason, bribery, or other High Crimes and Misdemeanors.
George Bush has deliberately, falsely and systematically mislead the Congress and the American people concerning the most criminal, costly and harmful acts of his administration, leading us to war, tragic loss of human life, the devastation of Iraq, military expenses reaching trillions of dollars, disruption of the economy that will take decades to overcome, a contemptuous assault on the Bill of Rights, an international humanitarian disaster, deliberate antagonism and provocation of nations and people, most once friendly, and an enlarging assault on the earth's environment.
On June 5, 2008, a long delayed five year U.S. Senate Select Committee on Intelligence study and 170-page report unanimously found President Bush, Vice President Cheney and other top officers had made false charges and systematically presented a more dire picture about Iraq than justified by intelligence provided only to them. The Committee included both Democrats and Republicans.
Today President Bush is exerting all his power and influence to repeatedly urge Europe, Israel and others to support an attack on Iran which he intends to commence in the remaining months of the presidency. Iran is larger than Iraq and Afghanistan, has millions of people, richer by a multiple, unimpaired by recent war and will fight fiercely if attacked. He is negotiating a permanent U.S. military presence in Iraq placing the U.S. on Iran's border.
The next several Presidents of the United States will spend their time in office miserably fighting wars started by Bush, as our economy is consumed in military spending.
Impeachment, a Constitutional duty, is the only way to prevent George W. Bush and his cabal from vastly enlarging the disastrous wars he has already inflicted on the world and the American people. The House of Representatives must quickly consider Bills of Impeachment long overdue, and the Senate must prepare to sit in judgment of President Bush, Vice President Cheney other officers who are implicated.
Ramsey Clark
June 10, 2008
Posted by: Impeach Bush | June 10, 2008 10:21 PM
Will they, though? That is the biggest question.
Good morning!
Posted by: Mgt | June 11, 2008 04:29 AM
The next several Presidents of the United States will spend their time in the Oval Office with fat girls, pizza and cigars.
Posted by: Ramsey Clark | June 12, 2008 07:57 PM
Bush should be impeached for his interference with the extra terrestial flights by Martians and their alien friends, the Saturnites. He has started a war with the aliens without seeking approval from Congress, and he has proposed drilling for oil on Mars, which is his real reason for wanting to go to Mars. This drilling will cause intergalactic warming and will endanger the pigmy owls on Mars.
Posted by: Dennis Kuccinich | June 13, 2008 07:24 PM
The Saturnites have taken up residence in Crawford, Texas.
Posted by: Barbara from Cinci | June 14, 2008 04:40 PM
That explains a lot!
Posted by: vero | June 14, 2008 11:21 PM
no way........
Posted by: vero | June 21, 2008 01:55 PM
Entwistle guilty:
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/06/25/entwistle.verdict/?iref=mpstoryview
Snot's trial pushed back:
http://www.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_9675564
Posted by: Astrologer | June 25, 2008 11:10 PM
Supreme Court Justices Bar Death Penalty for the Rape of a Child:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/26/washington/26scotus.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
Posted by: Astrologer | June 25, 2008 11:14 PM