Observations of a Misfit

November 03, 2006

Hypocrisy thy name is Pastor Ted

"Art" in an altered state

You probably heard about the shocking (!) revelations of mega Pastor Ted Haggard's secret life as a drug user and purveyor of illicit activities with (gasp) other men. Haggard vehemently denied the relationship with hustler Jones, but oddly admitted to buying drugs just to "throw them away" untouched. Alrighty! Unfortunately, the voice mails that were saved and have now been attributed to him by expert voice analysts belie this dubious claim.

Here is Haggard's first voice mail message, left on August 4 at 2:18 p.m.:

"Hi Mike, this is Art. Hey, I was just calling to see if we could get any more.

Either $100 or $200 supply. And I could pick it up really anytime...I could get it tomorrow or we could wait till next week sometime and so I also wanted to get your address.

I could send you some money for inventory but that's probably not working, so if you have it then go ahead and get what you can and I may buzz up there later today, but I doubt your schedule would allow that unless you have some in the house. Okay, I'll check in with you later. Thanks a lot, bye."

Emphasis in italics and bold mine.

Ok, ol' Art not only has used before and knows this dealer, but he knows the amounts to buy, wants it today or tomorrow (really today), is willing to pay for "inventory", and is extremely eager to get more.

Haggard was obviously jonesing (pun intended). This was no "experimental" phone call or a casual inquiry about what and where and how. This was not the first time, he did not throw it out, and he is no stranger to this transaction.

He sounds like a budding addict. I can't say "full blown" but certainly budding. Sounds like the "we" part is just a cover.

Whereas he's willing to fudge about his copping dope, he denies the gay relationship.

Apparently, in Haggard's version of Christianity, it's less of a "sin" to buy meth, but the flock might not look too kindly on being unfaithful to your wife, especially with someone of the same sex.

As the cock crows three times, evangelical theocratic buddies like Jerry Falwell are denying knowing him.

How many more of these grandstanding, bigoted, fascist hypocrites can one religion bear? Is that like asking how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, or how many camels can fit through the eye of a needle? You be the decider!