September 27, 2007
You're Never Too Old to Learn
My latest kick for the past several months has been reading “relationship” books; some popular and familiar ones like He’s Just Not That Into You and Why Men Marry Bitches, along with more obscure eBooks and dating sites. Those of you who were tired of my 9/11 obsession may be relieved at this development.
For the readers familiar with my romantic history, that reads like a Russian novel, you know that I have chosen poorly in the past and paid some rather serious consequences. Obviously, my instincts were skewed by unfinished business or various shades of denial; thus, I was determined to learn all I could about what makes men tick, how they think, and what women can do to create a great romance despite the cultural and psychological impediments to healthy relationships. I am happy to report that I learned a lot from all the books and feel as though I finally have a handle on this thing called love.
Perhaps I still have a broken compass, but at least I can see the handwriting on the wall a bit sooner and adjust my modus operandi or recognize the problems before they become insurmountable. Perhaps I can seek to understand the male point of view instead of always focusing on my needs, feelings and opinions. It’s a challenge, but it’s all part of the learning curve. Some of what I’ve learned about myself has been painful, albeit very, very useful. It is in romantic relationships that the best of us and worst of us emerges.
When I read some of the reviews on Amazon of He’s Just Not That Into You, I was not impressed with the flavor of the book as described. However, I decided to read it anyway and was thoroughly amused by it. I laughed, I nodded my head in agreement, I enjoyed the male writer (Greg) of the duo who wrote it, and while it seemed to be stating the obvious (such as, if a guy doesn’t call you, hello, he’s not interested in you), it provided an interesting window into the young male mind. This book is written for a younger audience, women in their 20s and 30s, but it had relevant advice for, errr… more mature gals, too.
Why Men Marry Bitches is definitely written for the woman who wants to secure a commitment from her boyfriend. Since I’m a Platinum Card Carrying Commitment-Phobe, I skimmed over the strategies concerning how to get your man to propose; however, there is excellent advice about self-esteem, training your partner how to treat you, building your life apart from your relationship, and loving who you are regardless of whether or not your relationship is “fulfilling.” I believe most women, present company included, are taught to rely too much on other people’s approval to feel good about who we are. This is bunk, of course. We must love ourselves first and foremost, and then we can safely love others without the codependent calamities of existential expectations.
Posted by lorelei at 03:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (33)May 06, 2007
Panning Copperfield
I never thought I would ever pan a magic show, especially one by the notable David Copperfield in a venue as (normally) impressive as The Palace Theater. I am a sucker for magic, even amateur acts in school talent shows or wandering sleight-of-hand magicians at wedding receptions. So, when the opportunity to see David Copperfield's show, billed as "An Intimiate Evening of Grand Illusion", I invested over $100 for tickets in the Mezzanine and looked forward to a dazzling display of illusion and escapism. Unfortunately, the evening was neither intimate nor grand.
Instead, we were held hostage to videos of Copperfield’s shameless self-promotion, cheap props, juvenile sex jokes and pop culture references, corny card tricks, annoying spotlight effects, and an obnoxious host whose current iteration is a sort of tasteless urban parody. If possible, Copperfield seemed more bored than the audience.
Nevertheless, I laughed at some of the silly routines (since I am easily amused) and offered a smattering of applause occasionally (since I am not easily impressed), and I remained optimistic that the show would progressively improve from its sparse, warehouse set to something with more pyrotechnics. I don’t mind the “smoke and mirrors” part of magic; I expect it. It didn’t happen. Up until the end, I was willing to believe that Copperfield really chose random people from the audience to assist in demonstrating his impossible clairvoyance. Now, I’m certain that most (if not all) of his “volunteers” are preselected, and that even though one cannot deny his slick and maverick prosecution, Copperfield’s magic is just another con game.
The prelude to this lackluster show was an overly-long video montage of snippets of movies, television shows and cartoons where someone mentions David Copperfield. Three minutes into it, we were more than convinced that he was a household word. So what? Halfway through the show we were treated with yet another video snoozefest displaying Copperfield’s projects, museums, awards, philanthropic endeavors and clips of some of his greatest illusions, which we wished had been duplicated for our live viewing pleasure. That was not to be. Unfortunately, in his current tour, Copperfield treats the audience like red-headed step-children. Gone are the tuxedo, mystery and elegance, replaced by “Casual Friday” denim, t-shirts and banal sexual innuendo. Apparently, Copperfield has changed his marketing strategy to attract more than the hoi polloi, but the riff-raff as well.
In what was to be one of the most bizarre experiences of any entertainment event in which I was a spectator, and that essentially ruined the entire evening for me, was the “Reunion” illusion, where a man is reunited with his estranged daughter in (of all places) Perth, Australia. The trick involves the alleged daughter (sitting conveniently in the audience), who joins Copperfield on a crane, they both disappear, then reappear in a video where the daughter meets her “dad” on the beach. Now, this might be warm and fuzzy (albeit rather dull) for the Oprah audience, and some of us may have tried to figure out how he juxtaposed the images to create the illusion of real-time, except for one glaring and deeply disturbing problem: the “actor” they used to perform the role of the long-suffering dad was none other than one of my "exes", the infamous Taz of lush-life, terror in Jamaica, murder-attempting fame. It’s hard to describe my surprise at seeing photo-chopped images of Taz flashing on the big screen: Taz holding a little baby, Taz as a kid, Taz in a garage with a little girl who resembled him (maybe they used his real daughter, who knows?); good old Taz looking all forlorn and heroic.
Seriously, I didn’t know whether to burst out laughing or scream in horror. At that point, whatever semblance of illusion and suspense I granted Mr. Copperfield was ripped to shreds like one of his mylar tarps.
Why David Copperfield selected that dog-faced moron to be his model for the “reunite” shtick is beyond me. I’m pretty sure that they didn’t really film the beach scene in Perth, Australia. Suffice it to say, the greatest illusion Copperfield created in this show was to turn a washed-up, violent, despised drunk like Taz into a sympathetic, heart-warming character. That, my friends, was definitely magic.
Posted by lorelei at 01:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (61)April 18, 2007
Boston Legal: The Rare Feast in a TV Fast
Long-time readers of this blog may recall that I usually don’t watch television. (Since I have recklessly divulged a vast amount of personal information in the past four years, some of you probably know my shoe size and blood type, as well.) My television fast is not out of some affected snobbery, but rather my aversion to annoying banality and useless content that is often insulting to my sensibilities; I eschew mainstream media, especially television. I don’t even have a TV set within earshot these days, unlike during the Peterson case when I had Fox, Court TV or MSNBC on in the background religiously; instead, I rely on selected web sites for excerpts of news, commentary and the latest celebrity scandal. Thus, it may come as a surprise to some of you that I have watched every episode of "Boston Legal" on DVD or download since acquiring the first season back in late December.
"Boston Legal" is the best show to come out since M*A*S*H. It has all the ingredients of a perfect hour of entertainment: a compelling and varied framework (the ever-popular law firm), brilliant social commentary, a really talented ensemble cast, absurd but hilarious dialogue, unrealistic but riveting courtroom drama, and the most irresistible hook for me: James Spader. Yes, I’m a sucker for James Spader and have probably seen every movie in which he starred. Spader has even made delicious cameo appearances in my dreams. When Spader joined the cast of that lackluster, predictable show, "The Practice", predecessor of "Boston Legal", I tried, without much success, to reserve Sunday nights at 10 to watch.
With the availability of most popular television series on DVDs and downloads, I can watch blocks of episodes without commercials at my convenience, and if I’m interrupted (which is often the case), I can hit the “pause” button instead of missing a witty bit of dialogue or a climactic verdict from the jury. This is the best way to watch a show like "Boston Legal", because it is written like a serial. You can’t watch an episode in isolation or you miss most of the references and history of events. The only problem with this arrangement is when you run out of episodes, it can be a real letdown; you feel like a drug addict craving the next high. I eagerly await my next set of episodes from the current season to get my BL fix.
While I have always adored James Spader and admired Candace Bergen, I was never a big fan of William Shatner’s until now. His remarkable portrayal of the eccentric egomaniac, Denny Crane, fortunately eradicates his dubious distinction of being forever typecast as Captain James Kirk. Denny Crane is such an over the top, off the edge, wildly ridiculous caricature, it’s amazing that Shatner can pull it off with a straight face. I’d love to see the reels of outtakes where he (and everyone around) cracks up. Cut!!
Normally, I’m the only one in the group hopelessly lost during conversations about television shows like “American Idol,” “Survivor,” “Desperate Housewives,” “The Sopranos,” and pretty much you name it. Therefore, my enthusiastic recommendation of BL is that much more significant. I’m like that little kid, Mikey, on the Life Cereal commercial: let Loretta watch it! She doesn’t like anything! Hey, she’s watching it! She likes it!
I love this show. If they cancel it, I will surely cry.
Posted by lorelei at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (55)April 12, 2007
Death of a Champion
My first introduction to Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., was in sophomore English class where I read the short story, "Harrison Bergeron". Last year on this blog I wrote an analysis of "Harrison Bergeron" that revealed its continued impact on me after some 30 years. My interest in Vonnegut led me to one of his older works, a silly science fiction novel, Sirens of Titan, about which I only recall a character or two and how much it made me laugh. Back then I also read the author’s pet work, Cat’s Cradle, along with the ubiquitous requisite Breakfast of Champions. Throughout the years of my various author kicks and subject obsessions, I have read most of Vonnegut’s works, including some of the compilation anthologies of his commencement speeches and essays; my personal favorite of the autobiographical collages is Palm Sunday. I find myself quoting Vonnegut more than any other author save Shakespeare.
Vonnegut’s voice was a mixture of Mark Twain/Frank Zappa; he combined sardonic observation with bizarre yet accessible characters. Like Twain, Vonnegut boldly criticized popular culture, politicians, and social mores, but never sunk to the nihilistic cynicism reflected in his predecessor’s final indictments. I eagerly devoured everything Vonnegut wrote. His sanity, wisdom and wit resonated with me as a Midwesterner and student of the human condition.
Because I was too young during the Watergate scandal to pay much attention to the details, Vonnegut’s novel, Jailbird, a parody loosely based on the perpetrators of the burglary, launched my personal investigation into the history of the event and led me to all sorts of interesting rabbit holes. You could say that partaking in a regular diet of Vonnegut books reinforced my skepticism and paranoia toward government institutions and not-necessarily-fictitious policies that impact individual rights. Needless to say, Vonnegut was a harsh critic of the Bush administration and spent his last days grieving our current state of affairs.
I not only grieve the current state of affairs, but Vonnegut’s passing. He was a great man who led a fascinating and honorable life, albeit humble and unassuming. His novels should remain required reading for high school students. However, if you skipped that class as a sophomore, it’s not too late to feast upon the banquet that is Vonnegut’s legacy. Your world will never be the same.
Farewell, sweet Prince, the hope of chivalry!
Shakespeare, Edward III
January 04, 2007
The Aladdin Factor
Earlier in December, I read a book by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, authors of the “Chicken Soup” series, entitled The Aladdin Factor. After emerging from a 10-month, soul-sucking journey down the rabbit hole of 9/11 conspiracies and research on religion, symbols and myths (an adventure that made me more paranoid and cynical than was probably good for me), I switched gears and began to focus on how I could improve my life and change the world through the law of attraction. The Aladdin Factor was one of several books I procured to provide a road map.
One of the simplest concepts in the book involves asking for what you want. Sounds easy enough. You may think you ask for what you want, but in reality you probably believe that your closest friends and family can anticipate your needs; they should know you well enough to read your mind, and if they really loved you, they would already be doing what you want them to do, right? Wrong.
How many times have you silently accepted what people did, what you were served in a restaurant, or swallowed your dissatisfaction with a product or service merely because you didn’t want to “make waves” or appear ungrateful, boorish or (god forbid) greedy? Probably more times than you’re willing to admit. The Aladdin Factor discusses all the cultural and psychological barriers we build that prevent us from asking for what we want, and you’d be surprised at how many will apply to your particular habits. As a salesperson, I’m not afraid to ask for an order, but in other areas of my life I often resigned myself to getting less, getting ripped off, or getting the shaft. That was just “life in the big city,” right? Wrong.
There are seven exercises in the book designed to train you to “clarify your vision” in all areas of your life, make lists of ideal circumstances, create a “Perfect Day Fantasy”, stretch your imagination, and create your dreams. The main exercise requires you to make 101 wishes – yes, 101. It’s not an easy task. I’m only up to #64, and I’ve been working on it for weeks. Interspersed with practical advice and tools to reprogram your thinking is a sort of cheesy fairy tale about Aladdin and a magic lamp that reads like a children’s story. Like all of Canfield’s work, this book is a fast read with simple concepts; but, often the simplest concepts are the most powerful.
Thus, my New Year’s resolution is to know what I want and know I am worthy of it. Adding passion, action and persistence, I should manifest all these things with practice and belief. According to the principles in the book, when my beliefs match my desires, when I act “as if” I have already accomplished my goals, when the emotions I feel vibrate with magnetic force, I will attract the ways and means to achieve anything I desire. Ask for what you want, that’s all; then, see what happens.
Posted by lorelei at 08:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (167)November 22, 2006
The Secret
For the past week or so, I have been recommending the movie, “The Secret” to friends on and off the blog. Several of the producers of “The Secret” appeared on Larry King Live last week, and the broadcast can be viewed here:
Most of the principles outlined in “The Secret” were not new to me. In my various journeys down rabbit holes of myths, religion, history, art, music, conspiracies and the occult, I had picked up a few tips along the way and utilized them with success. Nevertheless, this movie inspired me to take more direct action in my life to set goals, visualize and feel the goals being achieved, focus on the positive outcome of every circumstance rather than entertaining the negative possibilities, and declare my intentions to the “universe”.
Every day since viewing the movie, I have found a way to use the “secret” tools with people in my sphere of influence, including family, friends, neighbors and email pals. There really is no limit to where you can apply the law of attraction; and once you understand how it works, you can teach others to use it in their lives as well. I wake up now looking forward to the new day, eagerly awaiting the next wonderful thing that will occur!
The keys to living in the secret are simple: first, begin your day with an attitude of gratitude and encourage your loved ones to do the same. Gratitude isn’t just for Thanksgiving; it must be a daily habit. Before heading off to school, my children share a list of five things for which they are thankful. They bring that feeling of gratitude with them to their environment, instead of any feelings of dread or worry about tests, homework, rules, and little social squabbles. This new attitude has produced some amazing results.
Next, we set real goals with real visuals: we write down the goals and post them on the refrigerator to remind us. We cut out pictures of things we want and tape them in a place we can see them. We write down our intentions in our plan books and on index cards to carry with us. I read affirmations while sitting at red lights. I visualize events occurring or the outcome of an unknown situation and wait for it to happen. And, it does. I ask for what I want and encourage others to ask for what they want. I believe the universe is conspiring to help me succeed and to give me everything I want, and each day several things happen to bolster that belief. I attract people and things into my life that propel me to high levels of creativity and happiness.
After only ten days, I can absolutely testify that this works. If you’re ready to make your life more incredible than you ever dreamed possible, watch “The Secret” and use the tools immediately. The results will surprise you.
Posted by lorelei at 06:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (340)September 05, 2006
Stephen King's "Cell" Out
It used to be years ago I could pick up a new Stephen King novel and look forward to a thrilling escape for a week. King tended to write tomes at least 500 pages long, filled with complex back stories, parallel plots, flawed and likeable characters and wry social commentary. Not so with his latest release, Cell - as disappointing as a 45-second roller coaster you wait in line two hours to ride.
Throughout the narrative, mostly told from the point of view of a comic-strip artist Clay Riddell, seeps an underlying cynicism and indifference unlike most of King’s better works. Gratuitous violence and gore clutter up the already abbreviated storyline, as though King had surrendered to sound-bites and podcasts for the short attention span of the audience he cautiously parodies.
The premise had potential: a “pulse” that reprograms people’s brains, compared to erasing the disk on a computer, is generated simultaneously to every person’s cell phone, creating a subhuman culture of cortex-driven animals who display various behavior, at one time of birds, at another of beasts. The reader is never certain of the origin of the pulse, who developed it, what its purpose was, or how many people were affected. These are just a few of the gaping holes in the storyline that beg explanation.
Departing from all good fiction, including his own, King completely omits a villain in this book. The reader has no idea who the bad guys are, what their agenda is, or whether they suffer any backlash or consequences because of the unpredictable behavior of mind-wiped humans. The “flock” (what the characters call the living dead) become the enemy: a sort of nameless, faceless horde of wraiths who were once friends, spouses, neighbors or children. It just doesn’t work well at all.
There is only a small ensemble of main characters whom the reader follows from the beginning to the end of the story, none of them well developed save maybe Riddell, and even then we are given but snapshots of his life before “the pulse”. If you ever read The Stand, you know that King goes into great detail about the background and personality of all the characters, especially the most important participants. Where was that eye for detail in Cell? Where’s the flesh? There was already far too much blood.
I would not have been so disappointed in the ending had King given us more to care about, imagine and hope for prior to cutting us off like a sudden break in wireless service. Cell left me with the sense of incompletion and disconnection and not a little frustration imagining what he could have done with this story if he had wanted to.
Rating: 2-1/2 stars, and that half star is only because the dialogue is, as usual, pretty good.
Posted by lorelei at 05:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (152)